My email address is email@example.com.
Alternatively, tweet me: @Chris_Coltrane.
YOU SHOULD EMAIL ME IF:
- You want to book me for a gig
- You want to give me writing work
- You want to give me a compliment
- You have an idea for some activisms
- You know about some anime I should watch
- Basically any other reason. I’m quite friendly, really.
YOU SHOULD *NOT* EMAIL ME IF:
- You want to trick me into buying 200,000 watermelons at cost price
- You want to pretend you’re booking me for a gig, but in actual fact it’s not a gig but the opening of a new dildo factory in Inverness
- You are attempting to undermine my authority with the local youth
- You are the head of ISIS
- You are Jonathan Taylor, who in year 9 told me I had a “face like an idiot”
- You want to get closer to me in an ultimate attempt to steal my wife Portcullis & my seven furious sons.